This is what I learned on my quest to write the perfect book

*This piece was originally written for a job application but I didn't get the job and I'm pretty proud of this so I thought I'd share it here!*

Short answer? You can't. The long answer?

The first thing you should ask yourself is ‘what is the perfect book?’. The answer is different for everyone; writing, and in fact the creative industry as a whole, is largely subjective. Sure there are aspects that are more technical, but even an intentional subversion of tropes or techniques would be deemed ‘imperfect’ to some and ‘life-changing’ to others. Think of Jonathan Larson and his approach to the rock opera, or Lin-Manuel Miranda introducing rap to Broadway. What about E.E. Cummings’ fractured poems, or Nathan Filer’s use of font and the page in The Shock of the Fall? It’s important to stand out in what can be such a cut-throat industry and one big way to do that is by not subscribing to other people’s ideas of perfection, but be careful…

When I set out to write my first proper novel in the autumn of 2021, I didn’t plan it at all. I’m a real pantser when it comes to writing – something that, as you’ll learn much quicker than I did, isn’t good for me. Being a pantser means you don’t plot anything when you set out to write something new. You may have the characters in mind, perhaps even a setting, but you let those things guide you without proper structure. This works really well for some, and with smaller projects, it even works well for me, but many struggle when it comes to using this method for a full-length novel. I know I did.

The only plan I had for my novel when I began was that I knew I wanted it to be a collection of short stories that followed the same two people falling in love across time, and I knew what their names were. That was it. No plots, no research, not even any secondary characters – it was just me and my two guys against a blank page. I ‘completed’ (I use the term loosely) the novel within one month thanks to NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month), and then promptly didn’t touch it again until around three months later. When I did open it back up to have a read I found it to be a mess. There was way too much going on. Some of the stories were barely five hundred words long, while others were over seven thousand and spanned across six different chapters. There were some gems in it that I liked and hope to eventually expand upon, but they were few and far between. The only real saving grace of the novel was that I’m someone who edits as I write, so the first major re-read wasn’t that painful – I could at least understand what was on the page.

As it stands, the novel is still only half-edited. I’d decided to tackle every aspect of this novel myself, including the arduous editing process. I normally LOVE editing, adore it, could absolutely see myself doing it professionally, but something about this novel had me shuddering just thinking about it. Maybe it’s because it was such a disjointed piece, or maybe I was just fed up with it at that point, but either way, the editing stopped less than a year after the last word was written. I strongly recommend outsourcing the editing of your larger pieces, and even the smaller ones if editing’s just not your thing.

I could ponder all day on the technical things that stopped me from seeing this novel to completion but, to get real for a second, the main thing that stopped me was how embarrassed I felt by it. I’ve never been one to dislike my work, I can always see the good in it, even when it needs improvement, however, there was a moment that I remember distinctly when I read a line of exposition that put my head in my hands, bemoaning my apparent skill loss. Just a few months prior I had graduated with a First from one of the top creative writing degrees in the country and now I was writing lines like “he suspected that was largely because, as their resident emotionless badass, she didn’t want to be associated with him feeling things”? How could I possibly send this off to publishers and expect to be taken seriously? Look, in hindsight, it’s not bad; my judgement was definitely clouded by burnout and sheer exhaustion from the editing process. But I can also admit that it’s just not good either. And that’s what stuck with me.

My perfectionism meant that I now haven’t touched the novel in over a year. I would love to return to it one day, but currently I have other projects I’m working on. Although it’s still unread by anyone else, I’m no longer completely embarrassed by the novel because my friends and therapist reminded me that not everything is perfect on the first try. In fact, one of the biggest aspects of writing is to re-write. There’s a pretty famous quote about that…

It doesn’t feel great to have an unfinished novel sitting on my shelf just waiting for me to get back to it, but it does feel okay. It’s okay not to be perfect, it’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s okay to move on from things. Unfinished doesn’t mean a bad writer. Unfinished doesn’t mean no future. Unfinished doesn’t mean failed. Like I said, I have so many projects lined up and I’m so genuinely excited for them that I could burst!

So, what did I learn on my quest to write the perfect book? PERFECT DOESN’T EXIST. I could not make that clearer if I tried. Even the greatest writers have imperfections in their work, and there’s nothing wrong with having a few duds when you’re starting out. Be original, take risks, write what you need to write. And for God’s sake, hire an editor.